January 2012
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Life
10. You know that girl you really like? She doesn’t like you nearly as much and never will, unless your interest in her suddenly vanishes, in which case she may well start to like you. This may seem like a paradox, and it is, assuming that a paradox is a medieval weapon of torture.
McSweeney’s
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Some lady in the dentist's office just referred to...
I am 80.
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New Years Resolution
Be drunk more of the time than in 2011.